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New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
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Discussions > Coffee > General > New poll...for...  
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MyronJ
Senior Member
MyronJ
Joined: 30 Dec 2001
Posts: 275
Location: Kibbutz Kfar Etzion-Israel

Espresso: Gaggia Espresso
Grinder: Rocky (Zassenhaus  Mill Box...
Vac Pot: Aeropress..does it count??
Drip: Bialetti Kaliffa-needs a...
Roaster: IROAST, FZ-RR 700 (Havitush)
Posted Sun Mar 28, 2004, 10:59pm
Subject: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

Amazing! 20% of us have significant others who:
  1. Think we are nuts
  2. Probably drive us nuts with their complaints and limitations
  3. Probably really suffer psychologically and physically from our geekiness

yet...they are defined as our "significant" others. (So we have two "significant others", one more than the other??)

How do you/we manage to get these significant others to live in peace with each....or does one get kicked out into the garage?

My contribution is to keep putting off getting an espresso machine;-(
She...actually bought me a coffee book for my birthday!

best, Myron
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bigmug
Senior Member


Joined: 15 Mar 2004
Posts: 206
Location: Mt. Pleasant, MI
Expertise: I love coffee

Espresso: Nemox Junior
Grinder: Cunill Tranquilo
Vac Pot: Bodum eSantos
Drip: Braun
Roaster: hg/db, FreshRoast Plus 8
Posted Mon Mar 29, 2004, 2:50am
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

Ten years of marriage to a fantastic woman has nevertheless led me often to contemplate what the hell compatibility is. My wife hates coffee. She also bought me a coffee book for my birthday (one of Ken Davids). She even bought me a pretty good Yirgacheffe on line for my birthday once. She also does not share my obsessions about food. To an extent, one of us does get kicked out into the garage--me. She also hates science fiction. However, she was so indulgent during our courtship that she sat through a more than four hour cut of the movie "Dune" (trust me...one of the worst movies ever made). That will never happen again. This is perhaps how we "individuate" in marriage--cultivate "nasty" habits to prevent the feeling that we have ceased to be separate individuals!

Steve
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ljguitar
Senior Member
ljguitar
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 2,787
Location: Cheyenne
Expertise: I live coffee

Espresso: Expobar Pulsar
Grinder: Mazzer SuperJolly• Baratza
Drip: Bunn
Roaster: Behmor•iRoast2•Variacs
Posted Mon Mar 29, 2004, 7:01am
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

bigmug Said:

Ten years of marriage to a fantastic woman has nevertheless led me often to contemplate what the hell compatibility is.

Posted March 29, 2004 link

Hi Steve...
35 years of marriage to the same wonderful lady has taught us that diversity in our relationship is a lot more fun than total unanimity. If we agreed on everything, communication could be reduced to a few grunts and a cup of coffee instead of reading the paper, sharing stories and being involved with others.

The arguments which help us negotiate life are interesting...sometimes fun, and the making up after is better. After 37 years of knowing her, we are still growing in our relationship and negotiating the difficulties of life, death of loved ones, birth of grandchildren and new green beans to experiment blending with.

Compatibility to us seems to mean working to be compatible instead of drifting mindlessly through some state of bliss. I am into music, and she is into reading. I play music with friends, and she retreats to the back room with a book...etc. We are very different and love being that way.

L  a  r  r  Y

<°)))><

 
L  a  r  r  Y          J

<°)))><
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bigmug
Senior Member


Joined: 15 Mar 2004
Posts: 206
Location: Mt. Pleasant, MI
Expertise: I love coffee

Espresso: Nemox Junior
Grinder: Cunill Tranquilo
Vac Pot: Bodum eSantos
Drip: Braun
Roaster: hg/db, FreshRoast Plus 8
Posted Mon Mar 29, 2004, 8:34am
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

Hi Larry: I agree with what you said about compatibility--I have a certain bias toward the negative which came out in my comment. However, I find that even in good relationships there is a tension between that "us" versus "me" that occasionally finds expression in "his" development of "strange" interests. I agree that we also have fun with our differences. I enjoy learning enough about the type of novels my wife loves to be able to buy new ones for her. We get larger inside when we take our loved one inside us. Too weird? Perhaps. Anyway, here's to differences.

Steve
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RoxieL
Senior Member
RoxieL
Joined: 9 Jun 2002
Posts: 972
Location: Phoenix
Expertise: I love coffee

Espresso: Expobar (Control)/Saeco...
Grinder: Cimbali Jr/Rocky/SB Barista
Vac Pot: eSantos/ eSantos Jr.
Drip: Bunn
Roaster: Hottop/FR+
Posted Mon Mar 29, 2004, 8:53am
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

Our 21st anniversary is next month & we dated for three years before that & were good friends for a couple of years before that.  We're very different in many ways.  I'm a vegetarian, he's not.  I like tropical beaches & he likes cool mountains.  I love many kinds of food & like to try new things, he likes only a few things & likes them fixed the same way.  He's the ultimate preppie & I like fun things like pink watches & sneakers with glitter & rhinestones.  But I believe it's more important to be similar in your values & beliefs than what foods you like & clothes you wear.  We do get frustrated with each other but I don't see how two people can live together for very long without getting irritated on occasion.  But the things about him that are irritating are small things & I always try to remember that & not let it become bigger than it really is.  IE, why is it that a man's way of "emptying the trash" is to mash it down???  But on my deathbed, am I really going to be all that concerned about it?  And not only did I spend many years looking for him (I asked him to marry me - sort of  - but that's another thread), he's the one who's put up with me for all these years!  Anyway, we realize we have interests that are not necessarily the interest of the other one.  One of the significant words that I think often gets lost in marriage is respect.  If you have respect for that person, it's part of being a team to allow them to indulge their passion.  One of his passions is tennis.  We actually spent two vacations going to London for the sole purpose of attending Wimbledon.  When he knows something is really important to me, he tries to allow or make it happen and I try to do the same for him.  I feel like I'm a better person (more mature, more responsible) for having been with him all these years, so yeah, he's pretty significant to me.  (That's not to say I don't still have a long way to go!)  Of course some of that is simply because I'm older, too.  But I know much of it is because of being with him.
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Karnin
Senior Member


Joined: 2 Jul 2003
Posts: 72
Location: Denver
Expertise: I love coffee

Espresso: mmm mm good
Drip: Ok, I gave in
Roaster: "Elmer" the heat gun (yes, I...
Posted Mon Mar 29, 2004, 10:56am
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

Its funny to read this because I was going to begin a thread on not being able to participate in the poll... I do not have a "signifigant other."  But the other great thing is I have a real intrest in marrage (I anticipate the day I can share in the life of another in such a way)  And I am so glad to hear all the wonderful reports on years of married life (All my friends like to remind me that in this day in age most marrages end in divorce, but that is b/c, IMO, these people are not marrying eachother, but traits of eachother that are bound to change, or become unatractive over time.)  I hope that all your relationships continue to grow and flourish. Best wishes.

 
Serve God, support coffee, live life.
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MyronJ
Senior Member
MyronJ
Joined: 30 Dec 2001
Posts: 275
Location: Kibbutz Kfar Etzion-Israel

Espresso: Gaggia Espresso
Grinder: Rocky (Zassenhaus  Mill Box...
Vac Pot: Aeropress..does it count??
Drip: Bialetti Kaliffa-needs a...
Roaster: IROAST, FZ-RR 700 (Havitush)
Posted Mon Mar 29, 2004, 12:35pm
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

From some of the wonderful posts I understand that marriage is sort of like blending coffee...
Fun experimenting, trying to make room for the other's taste...coming together into a complexity...sometimes it can be a bit unbalanced...and every origin does need a little time to be on his/her own.

Today I drank two marvelous cups (press) of Indian Monsooned + Uganda but for the third I mixed it with a mystery blend with a lot of Kenya...it sang.

Patience, humor, openess and the willingness to talk things through are helpful in finding the dynamic balance.
best, myron
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srwven
Senior Member


Joined: 5 Dec 2003
Posts: 252
Location: Pittsburgh
Expertise: I live coffee

Espresso: Pasquini Livia 90S
Grinder: Mazzer SJ
Drip: Clarity
Roaster: Stir crazy/convec oven
Posted Wed Mar 31, 2004, 7:10am
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

I am a very blessed man.  My wife of 8 years (we dated for 5 years before that) is the most patient woman I have ever met.  She never drank coffee before we got married.  Once married I would bring her a cup of coffee every morning as she was getting ready.  Now she can't do without her morning cup.  Since home roasting and my espresso adventures she considers herself a spoiled person.  She doesn't say a word when 10 lbs. of greens show up on the steps while there are 50 in the closet.  She's so good to me :--)  For a marriage to work the love, patience, understanding, and forgiveness MUST go both ways.
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SilentBob
Senior Member


Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Posts: 136
Location: Bremerton, WA
Expertise: I live coffee

Espresso: Isomac Tea
Grinder: Cunill Tranquilo
Vac Pot: Cory Electric Auto
Drip: Manual pour-over
Roaster: Whirley-Pop
Posted Fri Apr 2, 2004, 2:01pm
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

My wife of 12 years never drank coffee until I got into this espresso obsession.  Now I make her a cappuccino every night after work, while she slaves away over the stove.  She loves my cappas, and is learning to make her own (when I let her).  She'll probably never be able to pour patterns, but she's trying.

She's the one who TOLD me "Just order the damn thing and be done with it", after months of looking for a new espresso machine.  Merry Christmas to me!
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Yooperjohn
Senior Member


Joined: 3 Mar 2004
Posts: 132
Location: Newberry, Michigan
Expertise: I love coffee

Grinder: Capresso Infinity
Drip: been called worse! KrupMB
Roaster: Z&D, many Popcorn poppers
Posted Mon Apr 5, 2004, 3:30pm
Subject: Re: New poll...for those of us with "significant others who..."
 

My other half has become my mom after my dad died 3 and a half years ago.  After living in Southern Cal for 40 years I relocated back to a small town (2500) in the UP of Mich. to care for her.  48% of the population here think Maxwell house is the greatest coffee in the world and 48% think Hills Bros. is.  The others drink the cheap stuff....  Mom & Dad used to drink Hills Bros., using about 2-3 scoops for 10 cups.  It looked like a light rust in the cup.  I had a "somewhat" different taste for coffee (using whole beans in Cal.)...  My mom and I had very dificult times at breakfast for a long time.  Over the past 2 years she has changed her tune and now enjoys a reasonable cup of coffee (can't stand Max or Hills anymore).   After our coffee maker broke down about 4 months ago, I went online and brought a Krups SS drip over EBAY.  We were both happy!!  Then, I went wierd!!!  I did a search on Ebay for coffee and discovered green beans.... which led me to coffee coffee roasters.  I purchased a Z&D (including 1 pound of green beans) about 8 weeks ago ... Two weeks later I purchased a 77# bag of Columbia Peaberry...  Followed by a Krups Moka Brew about 2 weeks ago (influenced by coffeegeek"s review)... and ending with buying a Capresso Infinity grinder that came in about a week ago.   Mom thought I fell off my rocker and was starting to get very worried about me...  Now we're both off our rocker and enjoying coffee like never before!!!  The morning pot is always empty when we finish breakfast (often we are grabbing for the last cup).  My Moka Brewing is getting up to par, and I suspect we will be retiring our Krups SS drip soon.   Thanks to all of the articles I've read over the internet, and especially the Coffeegeek, my coffee knowledge continues to improve.  Unfortunately, not a person in this town roasts coffee beans, and only a very few grind and use packaged roasted beans.  One last note, I have just converted a cousin to roasting beans yesterday.  I gave him a brand new West Bend original Poppery popcorn maker that I found at the Senior Thrift Store for $5 and watched him make his 1st batch...   Gosh, this is going on..... and on.....and......  Well, this is my 1st post so I have an excuse...  Thanks all.....
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