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Look Out JonR!!!!!!
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Discussions > Espresso > General > Look Out...  
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twomartinis
Senior Member
twomartinis
Joined: 15 Mar 2004
Posts: 956
Location: Charlotte, NC
Expertise: I live coffee

Espresso: FF! X5
Grinder: Rocky & Mini-winkle
Roaster: graffix at 4:20
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 12:00pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

I'm gonna host this shizzle Iron Chef style:

Tell me what you roast, and I'll tell you who you are. -- Brillat-Savarin

Five years ago, a man’s fantasy became reality, in a form never seen before, in the Espresso Stadium, a giant coffee arena. The motivation for spending his fortune to create such a stadium was to encounter out new, original cuisine that could be called true artistic creations.

To realize his dream, he secretly started choosing the top chefs of different styles of cooking. And he named his men the Iron Baristas, the invincible men of culinary skills. If ever a challenger wins over the Iron Barista he or she will gain the
coffeegeek’s ovation and fame forever.

CHAIRMAN ZOKA: "Today's challenger: from the depths of the East River, Chef Andre. He started pulling shots at age 11, after a tragic hunting accident showed him his career lay in espresso preparation, not offshore oil rigging. He apprenticed under the great Bezerra"

[Picture: A young, skinny Andre and three other young chefs]

CHAIRMAN ZOKA: "working his way up through the ranks from sous-barista"

[Picture: A teenage Andre and two other teenage chefs]

CHAIRMAN ZOKA: "until age 35, when he took over as Head... Barista upon the retirement of his mentor."

FUKUI: "His espresso shots are a montage of beautifully orchestrated native arrangements, skillfully blending ingredients to harmonize and draw out the natural... oh, hell. It tastes good and looks good too. So, Andre-san, show us why you are considered the Alain Chapel of coffee cuisine."

ANDRE: "Who's he? I mean, I'll do my best!"

[Zoka enters Kitchen Stadium, mugs it up a bit and bites a giant coffee bean. Medium shot of Zoka hiccuping once, then goes to podium.]

CHAIRMAN ZOKA: "One of the problems with searching far and wide for new and innovative cuisine is that eventually you come to the end of the earth, or at least the end of the line. And today I think I've done just that with today's challenger. Now let's bring him on! From the depths of the East River, head barista... Chef Andre!"

[Andre enters to the sound of jungle drums.]

FUKUI: "Now entering Espresso Stadium in traditional New York City garb, and accompanied by what can only be called a headhunter raiding party, is today's challenger, Chef Andre! Andre, whose culinary influences stretch from the Himalayas to Hoboken, will bring a refreshing change to the competition!"

CHAIRMAN ZOKA:  "Welcome to Espresso Stadium."

ANDRE: "Thank you. Nice to be here. This is for you." [presents Zoka a necklace made from a shrunken skull tamp and several espresso beans.]

CHAIRMAN ZOKA:  "Thank you. How do you intend to shake things up around here?"

ANDRE: "I've got recipes and mad skillz that will blow your mind."

CHAIRMAN ZOKA:  "Excellent. Now let's meet the Iron Baristas, who lately have started to bore me. Yomigerayu Aiyann Sheffu!"

[Three of the Iron Baristas rise on their podia]

FUKUI: "Blah, blah, blah; your Iron Baristas; yadda, yadda, yadda, leaders in Espresso cuisine, and once again Kobe's stuck in the back room at the card table with the rest of the children."

CHAIRMAN ZOKA: "So. Which Iron Barista will it be?

ANDRE: JonR10-san!

CHAIRMAN ZOKA: If memory serves me correctly, we haven't featured a crotchless portafilter before. It takes unwavering discipline and a deft touch too bring out the subtleties of the crotchless portafilter.

And now we unveil the secret ingredient: Kopi Luwak coffee beans!

CHAIRMAN ZOKA:  Allez cuisine!

 
espornography.blogspot.com
flickr.com/photos/74108677@N00
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JonR10
Senior Member
JonR10
Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Posts: 10,376
Location: Houston, Texas
Expertise: I love coffee

Espresso: E61 Legend, Livietta,...
Grinder: Robur, B-Vario-W
Vac Pot: Hario Tabletop, Yama...
Drip: Technivorm
Roaster: 1-lb US Roaster, Behmor 1600
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 12:38pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

twomartinis Said:

.......

Posted February 26, 2005 link

Apparently there is no preset limit to the number of words allowed for a post....










(Very VERY funny Noll!! - I almost couldn't contain my outright laughter - GF thinks I'm ....... silly)

 
Jon Rosenthal
Houston, TX
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poison
Senior Member
poison
Joined: 11 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,163
Location: LA
Expertise: I live coffee

Espresso: Astra Pro
Grinder: Maestro Plus, Super J deal
Drip: Cone filter
Roaster: RK drum
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 1:21pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

Apparently twomartinis is now threemartinis.


























Freakin nut job :-) Funny stuff
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Worldman
Senior Member
Worldman
Joined: 16 Nov 2004
Posts: 1,823
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA
Expertise: Professional

Espresso: Expobar Office Control
Grinder: Cimbali 6/S
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 1:24pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

Jon,

You are still my p[ersonal "hero" for those beautiful shots!!  

2martinis,

That is some funny stuff.

Len

 
Len
Len's Espresso Blends
www.lensespressoblends.com
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nyc_crema
Senior Member
nyc_crema
Joined: 13 Oct 2004
Posts: 1,617
Location: New York City
Expertise: I love coffee

Espresso: Alexia (2010), Silvia (2004)
Grinder: Mazzer Mini (2004)
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 1:50pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

I found out my naked PF is that 15degree la marz PF... so that makes me the automatic winner!

I have never seen Iron Chef so I didn't really understand what 2martinies wrote =)

nyc_crema: P1010012 (2).JPG
(Click for larger image)
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ElRojo
Senior Member


Joined: 26 Feb 2005
Posts: 10
Location: Bluegrass Region
Expertise: I love coffee

Espresso: Amica
Grinder: Macap m4
Vac Pot: bodum
Drip: Mr Coffee,Oil Funnel
Roaster: Popper
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 2:02pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

I must admit I've used CG as a tool for info for awhile now.I'm now prompted to join for 2 specific posts today both by twomartines.First the amazing sphere of espresso it's so cool.Second the Iron Chef stuff,very very funny.It's good to be alive.Thanks,Roy
ps,I think Mr Martinie has warmed up his roaster today.
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twomartinis
Senior Member
twomartinis
Joined: 15 Mar 2004
Posts: 956
Location: Charlotte, NC
Expertise: I live coffee

Espresso: FF! X5
Grinder: Rocky & Mini-winkle
Roaster: graffix at 4:20
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 2:16pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

You guys won't believe what I'm doing today, check it out:

twomartinis: FFX5 test3.jpg
(Click for larger image)

 
espornography.blogspot.com
flickr.com/photos/74108677@N00
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ihatecoffee
Senior Member


Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 66
Location: Canada
Expertise: I love coffee

Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 2:37pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

ev Said:

Looks like we're gonna have a good old fahioned whore-off! My money's on Mr. Slave (Jon).
My apologies in advance guys. As my wife keeps telling me "not everybody's into South Park!"
I simply don't understand.

Posted February 25, 2005 link

HAHAHAHA! Do they have to see who can shove the the biggest bean up their bottomless portafilter? : )
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pfonke
Senior Member


Joined: 14 Jan 2005
Posts: 81
Location: Miami
Expertise: Just starting

Espresso: FF!X3
Grinder: Nuova Simonelli MCI
Drip: Presto Scandi/Krups...
Roaster: SC/CO
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 2:57pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

twomartinis Said:

You guys won't believe what I'm doing today, check it out:

Posted February 26, 2005 link

What the heck is it?

pfonke
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Ron_L
Senior Member
Ron_L
Joined: 25 Nov 2003
Posts: 601
Location: Batavia, IL
Expertise: I live coffee

Espresso: Izzo Alex MK II
Grinder: LSM SM90, SMP
Vac Pot: Bodum Santos
Drip: Chemex. Clarity
Roaster: RK Drum, Gene, SC/GG, P1 x2,...
Posted Sat Feb 26, 2005, 3:23pm
Subject: Re: Look Out JonR!!!!!!
 

twomartinis Said:

I'm gonna host this shizzle Iron Chef style:

Posted February 26, 2005 link

First, I never thought I'd read the words shizzle and Iron Chef in the same sentence...

Second, very funny, twomartinis!  You've obviously been watching too much FoodTV!

...ron

 
...ron

Ron Lewen

Izzo Alex Users Forum
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/izzo_alex?hl=en
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