the beatiful krups espresso machine that j1 got me for father's day either sucks, is broken, or i'm doing something very, very, wrong.
here are my problems, so far, after one week of use, and keep in mind that i have worked as a barista in a coffeeshop: i know my way around a bit.
1) steam pressure: it's not there. the steam wand is a light breeze of medium-hotness, when it bothers to work (see number two)
2) steam wand doesn't work at all, all too often: it won't steam half the time, unless i power the machine down, remove and replace the water bin, and power it back up. that's dumb.
3) IT SIMULATES BEING IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA: the machine shakes so badly it actually vibrates the shot glass right off the drip tray unless i hold the glass in place while the shots pull, which burns because the machine...
4) splatters. badly. like, really badly. the pump pushes espresso out of the two nozzles so fast that it's making the niagara river jealous. it is as if an F-16 is embedded into my espresso machine. the nozzles can't keep up with the pressure, so it also leaks around the filter, and splatters the entire brewing area (and steaming area, and countertop, and me) with 220 degree f degree liquid.
5) i get to make lattes with cold milk (!) . when i steam milk (badly, cause there's no steam pressure, see number one) and i want to use the steamed milk in a drink, i then have to pull a shot or two. the machine takes so long to go from steam to shot mode, due to having to turn it off and on multiple times and pull out the water reseviour several times and such that the milk is cool by the time i get my shots pulled. yuck.
6) it doesn't froth milk: on the occasions where i am able to heat the milk, it still doesn't actually froth it. it just makes bubbles. not a nice tight microfoam, but big bubbles, as if a toddler wandered by with a straw.
i think we may have to take it back.